Chapter 8 - EMILY’S FINAL VIDEOJonathan called on what would have been Emily’s thirty-seventh birthday.
“I found something.”
My stomach tightened automatically.
Then he laughed gently.
“Something good this time.”
Emily had left a video file with her estate documents.
Instructions said Sophie could see it “when Michael believes she needs to hear my voice more than he needs to protect her from grief.”
I sat with that sentence for a week.
Then Sophie asked:
“What did Mommy sound like?”
I knew.
It was time.
We sat together on the couch.
I pressed play.
Emily appeared on screen.
Thinner than I wanted to remember.
But smiling.
“Hi, Sophie.”
My daughter gasped.
“Mommy.”
Emily continued.
“If Daddy is showing you this, you’re probably old enough to ask questions he doesn’t know how to answer.”
Sophie looked at me.
“She knows you.”
I laughed through tears.
“Yes.”
Emily smiled on the screen.
“I want you to know something.”
“You do not have to remember me perfectly.”
Sophie became very still.
“You don’t have to keep your hair like mine.”
I covered my mouth.
The coincidence felt unbearable.
“You don’t have to like the things I liked.”
Emily continued.
“You don’t have to become me.”
Sophie started crying.
“You only have to become Sophie.”
I pulled her close.
Then Emily said:
“And if anyone tells you loving your life means forgetting me, they’re wrong.”
My daughter whispered:
“Grandma was wrong.”
“Yes.”
Emily smiled.
“Your dad loves you enough for both of us on the days you need it.”
I completely lost control.
Sophie wiped my face.
“Daddy, you’re crying a lot.”
“I know.”
Then the video ended with Emily blowing a kiss.
Sophie blew one back.
For several minutes, neither of us spoke.
Then she said:
“I want to grow my hair long.”
My chest tightened.
“Like Mommy?”
She thought.
“No.”
Then smiled.
“Like me.”
That was healing.
Not copying Emily.
May you like
Not rejecting her.
Choosing herself.
