Chapter 8: The Boy Who Refused to Choose Sides
On Sunday afternoon, Denise set the dining table with her best dishes.
There was fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, collard greens, cornbread, and a bowl of sliced peaches that Malik kept trying to sample before dinner.
Nia sat beside her grandmother, wearing a lavender sweater and a smile that appeared more often these days.
Darius sat across from her.
Malik occupied the chair beside him, swinging his legs beneath the table.
It was the first family dinner since Darius had moved the children out of the house.
Nobody mentioned Tanya.
Not at first.
Denise passed Malik the cornbread.
“Take two pieces, baby. You're growing.””
Malik selected three.
Denise raised an eyebrow.
“Did I say three?””
“No, Grandma.””
“And what are you going to do?””
Malik reluctantly returned one piece to the basket.
“Listen better.””
Everybody laughed.
Then Malik looked toward Nia.
“Can you come to my next birthday?””
Nia blinked.
“Of course.””
“Even if Mommy Tanya doesn't want you in the picture?””
The laughter vanished.
Darius set down his fork.
“Malik, we don't need to worry about that right now.””
“But I am worried.””
The boy looked at his father with the earnestness only a seven-year-old could manage.
“Last time, Nia stood all alone. I didn't like it.””
Nia reached for his hand.
“It's okay.””
“No, it's not.””
Malik turned toward her.
“You always say it's okay when it isn't.””
Nia stared at him.
For a moment, she looked as though she might cry.
Then she squeezed his fingers.
“You're a good brother.””
Malik nodded solemnly.
“I know.””
Denise chuckled despite herself.
“That confidence is something else.””
Dinner continued, but Darius could tell Malik was holding something back.
After they finished eating, the children helped clear the table. Malik carried the birthday photograph he had taken from Denise's hallway into the living room.
It was the picture of Darius, Tanya, and Malik beneath the balloon arch.
He laid it facedown on the coffee table.
Then he looked at his father.
“Can we take another one?””
Darius crouched beside him.
“Of course, champ.””
“Everybody in it?””
“Everybody who wants to be in it.””
Malik frowned.
“What if somebody doesn't want Nia in it?””
Darius considered the question carefully.
“Then we have to decide whether that's the kind of picture we want to take.””
Malik nodded as though this made perfect sense.
He ran upstairs to find Nia.
A few minutes later, the two children returned carrying a cardboard box filled with old photographs, markers, and a disposable camera Denise had bought for a family reunion.
“We're making a new family wall,” Malik announced.
Denise put a hand on her hip.
“A family wall?””
“Yep. Everybody gets a picture.””
Nia pulled a sheet of paper from the box.
“Can we put Mommy Renee on it too?””
Malik looked at her.
“Of course. She's your mom.””
Nia smiled.
Darius watched his children arrange the photographs across the coffee table.
There were pictures of Renee holding Nia as a baby, Darius teaching Malik to ride a bicycle, Denise celebrating her sixty-fifth birthday, and the children wearing matching Halloween costumes.
Tanya appeared in several photographs too.
Nia paused over one showing Tanya helping her decorate a cupcake.
“Can this one stay?”” she asked.
Darius sat beside her.
“That's up to you, sweetheart.””
“But she hurt me.””
“You can remember the good things somebody did and still recognize the hurtful things they did. You don't have to erase every memory to protect yourself.””
Nia studied the photograph.
“Then I'll keep it.””
She placed it beside the others.
Malik picked up the disposable camera.
“Grandma, take our picture!””
Denise accepted it.
“Everybody gather around.””
Malik grabbed Nia's hand and pulled her to the center of the living room. Darius stood behind them, one hand resting on each child's shoulder.
Denise raised the camera.
“Everybody smile!””
The flash went off.
Malik immediately demanded another.
“And another!””
They took six pictures before Denise announced that the camera had limited film and that somebody needed to save some for Thanksgiving.
The children protested.
Darius laughed.
For a moment, the house filled with the uncomplicated joy he had missed.
Then the doorbell rang.
Everyone turned.
Darius looked through the front window.
Tanya stood on the porch, holding a paper shopping bag and a small box wrapped in lavender paper.
Nia's smile disappeared.
She moved closer to her grandmother.
Darius noticed immediately.
He opened the door but remained in the threshold.
“Tanya.””
She held up the bag.
“I brought Nia's things.””
“You could have dropped them off another time.””
“I know.””
Tanya glanced past him.
“Is she here?””
Darius didn't answer.
Nia appeared beside Denise, holding Malik's hand.
Tanya saw her.
“Hi, Nia.””
Nia didn't speak.
Tanya lowered the bag onto the porch.
“I brought your dance shoes. And your school certificates. I found them in the drawer.””
Nia stared at the bag.
“Did you find my bracelet?””
Tanya's face changed.
She reached into her purse and pulled out a small velvet box.
“Yes.””
She opened it.
Inside lay the purple bracelet with the tiny silver heart.
Nia's eyes filled with tears.
“Mommy gave me that.””
“I know,” Tanya whispered.
“Why did you take it?””
Tanya looked down.
“I was jealous. I wanted you to love the things I gave you as much as the things your mother gave you.””
Nia's fingers curled around Malik's hand.
“But I did love your things.””
Tanya closed her eyes briefly.
“I know that now.””
Nia studied her.
“Then why did you make me feel bad?””
Tanya's mouth trembled.
“I thought if you needed me more, I wouldn't feel so afraid.””
“Afraid of what?””
“Of not belonging.””
Nia looked at the bracelet.
Then she looked at Tanya.
“I was afraid of that too.””
The words broke something in Tanya's expression.
She lowered herself onto the porch step.
For the first time, she didn't rush to explain herself or defend her intentions.
She simply cried.
“I am so sorry, Nia.””
Nia didn't move toward her.
Darius stayed silent.
The child was allowed to decide what happened next.
After a long moment, Nia spoke.
“Are you going to tell me my mom forgot me again?””
“No,” Tanya said immediately.
“Are you going to hide my pictures?””
“No.””
“Are you going to get mad when Daddy talks to me?””
Tanya shook her head.
“No, sweetheart.””
Nia looked at her father.
Darius gave a small nod.
“You can take your time,” he said.
Nia turned back toward Tanya.
“I don't want to go home yet.””
Tanya wiped her face.
“Okay.””
“I want to stay with Grandma.””
“Okay.””
“And I want to call my mom whenever I miss her.””
Tanya nodded.
“You should be able to.””
Nia watched her carefully, as though searching for the familiar sharpness that usually followed a disagreement.
It didn't come.
Finally, she accepted the velvet box.
“Thank you for bringing my bracelet.””
Tanya nodded.
“You're welcome.””
Then Nia stepped backward into the house.
Tanya stood slowly.
As Darius prepared to close the door, she looked at Malik.
“Can I hug you, baby?””
Malik glanced at Nia, then at his father.
“You can ask Nia first if she wants to be here when you do.””
Tanya blinked.
Darius felt a surprising wave of pride.
Malik wasn't trying to punish Tanya.
He was learning that love didn't require anybody to ignore someone else's pain.
Nia considered the question.
“You can hug Malik,” she said.
“But I want to stay inside with Grandma.””
Tanya nodded.
“That's fair.””
She hugged Malik briefly, then released him.
As she walked toward her car, Malik called after her.
“Mommy?””
Tanya turned.
He pointed toward the living room.
“Next time we take a picture, Nia gets to stand in the middle.””
Tanya's eyes filled again.
“Yes, baby,” she said.
“She does.””
When the door closed, Nia leaned against Denise.
“Grandma?””
“Yes, sweetheart?””
“Do you think Tanya can change?””
Denise brushed a hand over her braids.
“People can change when they're willing to do the work. But you don't have to be the person who teaches her how.””
Nia thought about that.
Then she picked up her bracelet and fastened it around her wrist.
That evening, Darius received a call from Renee.
“I heard Tanya visited,” she said.
“Yes.””
“How did Nia handle it?””
“She was brave.””
Renee sighed.
“I wish none of this had happened.””
“So do I.””
There was a pause.
Then Renee asked, “Darius, have you thought about the family photograph?””
He frowned.
“What about it?””
“I want Nia to have one with all the people who love her. Not because anybody has to pretend we're one perfect family, but because she deserves to see that she doesn't have to choose.””
Darius looked toward the living room.
The new photographs lay scattered across the table, waiting to be developed.
“I think that's a good idea,” he said.
Renee's voice softened.
“Then let's do it for her.””
Darius agreed.
They chose the following Sunday at Denise's house.
But the next morning, an unexpected call from the school counselor changed everything.
Nia had been asked to write a short essay about the people who made her feel safe.
She had turned it in early.
May you like
And in the final paragraph, she had written a sentence that no one in the family was prepared to read.
Sometimes the person who makes you feel most alone is the person who says they love you the most.
