Chapter 4: The Father Whose Name Was Never Mine
For several seconds, I couldn't hear anything except the wind moving through the trees.
My father stood beside the patio doors, his face pale, while Vanessa watched me with the satisfaction of someone who had finally found the one secret capable of destroying everything.
I looked down at the document in my hands.
Conditional Beneficiary Protection Agreement.
My mother's signature.
Eleven days before she was hospitalized for the last time.
Then I looked at Daniel.
“What did you just say?””
He rubbed his mouth with one trembling hand.
“Zarya, I didn't mean for you to find out this way.””
“Find out what way? That you're not my father?””
He flinched.
The reaction told me more than his words had.
“No,” I whispered.
“No, that's not possible.””
Daniel had taught me to ride a bicycle. He had carried me on his shoulders during Fourth of July parades. When I was seven, he spent an entire night building a cardboard castle for my school project because I had accidentally destroyed the first one.
Those memories belonged to me.
Nobody could take them away.
But suddenly, every memory seemed to have a question attached to it.
Why had he never let me see the photographs from before my parents married?
Why did he become angry whenever I asked about my mother's college years?
Why had Vanessa once told me, during an argument, that I had inherited my mother's stubbornness but none of Daniel's good qualities?
I had assumed she was insulting me.
Now I wondered whether she had been telling the truth.
“Who is my real father?”” I asked.
Daniel stared at the ground.
“Please, Zarya. Not here.””
“You announced to everyone that my mother's money belonged to your household. You watched Vanessa tear my graduation gown. You let me believe I couldn't afford college because you had spent my inheritance.””
My voice rose.
“You don't get to decide where the truth gets told now.””
A guest quietly gathered her purse and moved toward the driveway. Others followed, but Arthur raised one hand.
“Before anyone leaves,” he said, “I need to make something clear. The agreement does not establish paternity by itself. It establishes that Eleanor anticipated a dispute concerning Zarya's legal and financial interests.””
He turned toward me.
“Your mother asked me to protect you from anyone who might use your parentage to interfere with your inheritance.””
“Then why did she keep it secret?””
Arthur's expression softened.
“I believe she wanted to tell you herself. She simply ran out of time.””
My throat tightened.
I had spent the last three years missing a woman who was no longer there to answer even the smallest questions. Now I was discovering that the questions I had never thought to ask were the ones that mattered most.
Vanessa walked toward the table and picked up a fresh glass of champagne.
“You're all acting as if Daniel murdered someone,” she said.
“He raised Zarya. He gave her a home. Does that count for nothing?””
“Vanessa,” Daniel warned.
She took a sip.
“What? It's true. He was there when she needed a father. Whoever contributed the DNA clearly wasn't interested.””
I turned toward her.
“You knew?””
She didn't answer.
“You knew who my biological father was.””
Vanessa placed the glass down.
“I knew there was a man your mother never wanted discussed.””
“Who?””
“Ask Daniel.””
“I am asking you.””
Her eyes narrowed.
“Then perhaps you should ask yourself why your mother made everyone promise to keep his name away from you.””
Arthur stepped between us.
“Mrs. Carter, this is not an appropriate conversation to conduct in the middle of a garden.””
Vanessa laughed bitterly.
“You mean because it might expose something you can't control?””
Arthur didn't respond.
Instead, he handed me another document.
“This is a copy of your mother's original estate instruction. There is an additional letter held in secure storage. It can be released only after your identity and age are verified.””
“I'm eighteen. You can verify that.””
“I know. But there is another requirement. Eleanor specified that you must receive the information privately, with an independent witness present, because she feared the truth might be used against you.””
I looked at Daniel.
“Used against me how?””
He finally met my eyes.
“Because your biological father is a very powerful man.””
The words sounded absurd.
I almost laughed.
My father—or the man I had believed was my father—had spent years telling me we couldn't afford new shoes until payday. He had argued with my mother over grocery bills. After she died, he made me feel guilty whenever I asked for anything beyond the basics.
Powerful men didn't belong in my story.
Not unless they were villains in movies.
“Who is he?”” I asked again.
Daniel's lips parted.
Vanessa answered first.
“Richard Ashford.””
The name meant nothing to me for half a second.
Then Rebecca inhaled sharply.
Arthur closed his eyes.
And my aunt Linda whispered, “Oh, Eleanor.””
I looked from one face to another.
“Who is Richard Ashford?””
Rebecca spoke cautiously.
“Richard Ashford is the founder and majority shareholder of Ashford Development Group. His company owns commercial properties in several states. He's also known for funding university scholarships.””
I thought about the acceptance letter folded inside my bedroom drawer.
The university had offered me a partial academic scholarship, but I still needed financial assistance to cover the remaining tuition and living expenses.
Richard Ashford funded scholarships.
The coincidence made my stomach turn.
“Did he know about me?””
Nobody answered.
I stepped toward Daniel.
“Did he know I existed?””
Daniel's shoulders sagged.
“Yes.””
The word seemed to drain the air from my lungs.
“How long?””
“Since before you were born.””
I shook my head.
“No. You told me Mom met you in college. You told me you got married before I was born.””
“We did.””
“Then what does that have to do with him?””
Daniel looked toward Arthur, who gave a small, reluctant nod.
“Eleanor and Richard were together before she met me,” Daniel said.
“They were engaged. His family didn't approve of her. They wanted him to marry someone whose family could help expand their business.””
“And he let them choose for him?””
Daniel swallowed.
“He was young. His father threatened to cut him off.””
I stared at him.
“So Mom left him?””
“She ended the engagement. She never told me everything that happened between them. But by the time we met, she was determined to build a life without him.””
“Then why didn't he come back?””
Daniel's face twisted.
“He tried.””
The answer stunned me.
“When?””
“After you were born. He contacted Eleanor. He wanted a relationship with you, but she refused.””
“Why?””
“I don't know.””
Vanessa gave a sharp, disbelieving laugh.
“Of course you know.””
Daniel spun toward her.
“Be quiet!””
She raised both hands.
“No. I'm tired of protecting you. You told me Eleanor was afraid Richard would take Zarya away. You told me that's why she made you promise to keep him out of her life.””
Arthur's expression changed.
“Daniel, is that what Eleanor told you?””
My father hesitated.
Then he nodded.
“She said Richard's family would fight for custody if they knew Zarya existed.””
“And did you believe her?””
“Yes.””
Arthur looked down at the agreement.
“That's interesting. Because the document I'm holding says Eleanor wanted Zarya to have the option of contacting Richard once she turned eighteen.””
My father's head snapped up.
“What?””
Arthur turned the paper toward him.
“She left that option in writing.””
Vanessa's face lost its color.
I felt as if the ground had tilted beneath me.
My mother hadn't wanted the truth buried forever.
She had wanted me to have a choice.
And someone had spent eighteen years making that choice for me.
“Where is Richard Ashford now?”” I asked.
Rebecca glanced at her phone.
“He's scheduled to attend the opening of a new research center tomorrow morning. His office is in downtown Boston.””
I looked at Arthur.
“Can you contact him?””
“Yes.””
“Then do it.””
Daniel stepped forward.
“Zarya, please. You don't understand what you're asking.””
I looked at him, at the man who had raised me, lied to me, and watched another woman humiliate me on the day I was supposed to celebrate my future.
“Maybe I don't,” I said.
“But for eighteen years, you've been the person deciding what I'm allowed to understand.””
I handed the document back to Arthur.
“I'm done letting you decide.””
Arthur nodded once.
Then he reached into his briefcase and removed a business card.
“There's one more thing your mother left with me,” he said.
“A photograph.””
He turned the card over.
Written on the back was a date, a location, and a sentence in my mother's handwriting.
If Zarya asks to meet Richard, show her the photograph first.
Arthur took a small envelope from the bottom of the briefcase.
Inside was a photograph of my mother standing beside a younger man in front of a hospital entrance.
The man had dark hair, sharp cheekbones, and eyes that looked painfully familiar.
On the back, my mother had written five words.
The day Richard met his daughter.
I stared at the photograph.
May you like
Because the date was three days after I was born.
And according to Daniel, Richard had never seen me.
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