Chapter 3 - THE “INDEPENDENCE” I WAS PROUD OFRose changed after the engagement.
I noticed.
That was the worst part.
I noticed and interpreted everything wrong.
She stopped waking me when she had nightmares.
I told Vanessa:
“She’s finally sleeping through.”
Vanessa smiled.
“She’s becoming secure.”
No.
Vanessa had told her:
“Daddy needs sleep because he works for you. Nice girls don’t make people tired.”
Rose stopped asking me to cut her food.
I thought she was proud of using her little plastic knife.
Vanessa had told her:
“Babies need help.”
Rose stopped crying when she got hurt.
I called her brave.
Vanessa had told her:
“Daddy doesn’t like drama.”
Rose started getting dressed before I entered her room.
I praised her independence.
Vanessa had begun timing her.
“Five minutes. Big girls don’t make everyone wait.”
One morning I found Rose struggling with a button.
I reached to help.
She jerked away.
“I can do it!”
I laughed.
“Okay, okay.”
Then saw her panic.
Not determination.
Panic.
I missed it.
That memory stayed with me longer than almost anything else.
Because children often show fear in ways adults admire.
Quietness becomes maturity.
Hyper-independence becomes confidence.
Compliance becomes good behavior.
Sometimes it is.
May you like
Sometimes it is survival.
I learned the difference too late.
