Chapter 17 - LUCAS AND I ALMOST DIDN’T SURVIVE ITPeople assumed Elaine was the only threat to our marriage.

She wasn’t.
Lucas’s years of minimizing her behavior mattered.
I told him:
“You defended her before you protected us.”
He hated hearing that.
Then admitted it.
“I thought keeping peace was protecting the family.”
“No.”
“You were protecting yourself from conflict.”
That hurt.
Because it was true.
We went to counseling.
He learned something simple.
Neutrality between someone causing harm and someone receiving it is not always neutral.
Sometimes it protects the person causing harm.
Our marriage survived.
Not because he finally yelled at Elaine.
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Because afterward, he changed behavior.
That took longer.